I can't sleep. Its 1.00am in the morning and I am going to work tomorrow and I can't sleep. I was hurt emotionally. Truly it might be an off hand remark, no barb intended but it does strike a chord somewhere. Maybe its the hormones that make it more starkly painful.
Words can truly hurt someone. A good friend of mine just recently informed me a harmless joke about her occupation that I made a few months ago had hurt her enough to avoid meeting her old friends. She understands its a joke and yet it hurt her. Naturally I was very alarmed for I think I am always a tactfully forthright person. It made me think no matter what good intentions of the speaker, it still had the power to actually hurt someone unintentionally.
I can safely said I understand as I too was the recipient of a few hurtful words from someone close. It made me bleed, it make me angry, it made me feel helpless, it made me feel stupid that mere words can depressed me to the point I can't sleep. And yet we cannot deny the fact emotional injuries are often harder to heal and easier to get than physical ones.
Some people said, its just forth rightness, which is something I regard highly. But I guess the line between forthright and ignorantly cruel is really fine indeed. Hurtful words from outsiders, I just rant, rave and forget about it. Hurtful words from close ones , I just keep quiet and bleed. Apologies were given and accepted but it will stay inside not for spite but simply because it had happened.
The incident with my friend has opened my eyes, made me more careful in my sarcastic jokes and my choice of words and the many ways it can be interpreted. But then who is looking after me? My mentor once told me, " You are a victim if you think you are." . No truer words have been uttered. The sad fact is no matter how hard I tried to reason I am still feel victimised at least for the time being until time runs its due course.
Words can truly hurt someone. A good friend of mine just recently informed me a harmless joke about her occupation that I made a few months ago had hurt her enough to avoid meeting her old friends. She understands its a joke and yet it hurt her. Naturally I was very alarmed for I think I am always a tactfully forthright person. It made me think no matter what good intentions of the speaker, it still had the power to actually hurt someone unintentionally.
I can safely said I understand as I too was the recipient of a few hurtful words from someone close. It made me bleed, it make me angry, it made me feel helpless, it made me feel stupid that mere words can depressed me to the point I can't sleep. And yet we cannot deny the fact emotional injuries are often harder to heal and easier to get than physical ones.
Some people said, its just forth rightness, which is something I regard highly. But I guess the line between forthright and ignorantly cruel is really fine indeed. Hurtful words from outsiders, I just rant, rave and forget about it. Hurtful words from close ones , I just keep quiet and bleed. Apologies were given and accepted but it will stay inside not for spite but simply because it had happened.
The incident with my friend has opened my eyes, made me more careful in my sarcastic jokes and my choice of words and the many ways it can be interpreted. But then who is looking after me? My mentor once told me, " You are a victim if you think you are." . No truer words have been uttered. The sad fact is no matter how hard I tried to reason I am still feel victimised at least for the time being until time runs its due course.
1 comment:
hmm... weird that you have this thought suddenly. The other day... when u brought down the cake, i was sitting under the table, trying not to cry... over sticks and stones.. the speaker might not have meant it in any malicious way, just out of concern. But as someone said its because we care and that whoever said it is someone close to the heart, hence it hurt...
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